Parts Work/Internal Family Systems

Parts Work is based on the premise that we are all made up of multiple parts with different perspectives, concerns, and motivations. A simple and common example of this could be saying one part of me wants to leave my relationship, and another part of me wants to stay. In parts work, we would speak to each of these parts, as though they were separate people, in an attempt to understand fully the concern and motivation of each part.

Problems arise when parts make us feel anxiety, depression, or other acting in behaviors. Or parts act out with behaviors such as working too much, drinking, binging and purging, self-harm, lashing out in anger, saying things we regret, and so on. The most important tenet of Parts Work is that all of our parts believe they are protecting us, even if the way they are protecting us cause problems in our life.

Parts work is different from many modalities because of it’s philosophy that it is of key importance that we approach all of our parts with compassion and curiosity, even (especially) the parts we most dislike in ourselves. We attempt to understand why the part believes that it’s behavior is protecting us from danger or harm.

For example, a client may feel lethargic and depressed, and this may be causing great difficulty in her life. In our session, we would ask to speak directly with the part that is lethargic and depressed. We would ask it what it is afraid might happen if the client was energetic and vital. The part may say that it is concerned she [the client] may never rest. Or never get to do anything slow and leisurely, like read a book, or go for a walk. That the only way the client ever rested is if this part took over the system and made her lethargic and depressed.

Additionally, it is important to note, that the concern of the part will often be rooted in the history of the client. For example, the part might remember a time when the client was too active and ‘something bad’ happened. Once we hear the historical concern of the part (with compassion and understanding), we can update the part that the particular time has passed and the client is no longer in danger (if this is true). Subsequently, the system will often re-calibrate, and we can assess with the part whether it’s behavior still needs to be so extreme.

Liberating parts from their mistaken beliefs is one of our main goals in this modality. Parts are often 'stuck in time' so to speak — so we work towards letting each 'part' know that they no longer have to do the 'job' of protecting us that they feel they were hired on to do (usually at a time of wounding in early childhood).

The other main component of the work is letting all the parts know that we have a Self, this true Self is not a part — and that this Self is capable of leading the system, of knowing what to do, what choices to make, how to act in the world, in relationship, and so on.

When we educate our parts about the Self’s ability to lead the system, the parts learn that they don’t have to take over with their destructive behavior in an attempt to keep the client safe.

Often our parts are distrustful that the Self is a competent leader. It can be a learning curve for the parts to trust enough to let go of their protective stance. Ultimately the client’s Self has to prove to the parts that it is a reliable and trustworthy leader. In session we will cultivate Self energy, and we will encourage the parts to watch the Self, observe and let us know their concerns if they have any.

We also let the parts know they won’t be disposed of once they are relieved from their protective roles — that they will always be a valued and indispensable part of the clients internal system — but they don't have to take over and be angry, shameful, fearful, self-harming, and so on. They could do something fun instead! Like provide life force energy, playfulness, vitality, curiosity, wonder, etc. The parts will let you know what they want their new job title to be.